DEIDAMIA (daughter of Lycomedes)

During a festival honoring Pallas, she participated in a ritual to pay tribute to the goddess, binding her hair with leaves and scattering flowers on the spear.¹ Achilles fell in love with her upon seeing her, and Deidamia was the only person who secretly knew that the disguised youth was male.^1,4 She feared her sisters knew the secret of Achilles' manhood but remained silent.⁴ She held the disguised youth close to her body to prevent him from being recognized, covering his exposed chest, arms, and shoulders with her own garment.⁵ She repeatedly stopped him from getting up and demanding wine, and placed a golden hair-band on his forehead to maintain his disguise.⁵ When the deception regarding Achilles' identity was discovered, she lamented loudly, causing Achilles to drop his shield and feel broken by passion.⁶ Achilles selected her as his companion among the other maidens, persistently pursuing her with new and winning tactics, throwing light garlands and baskets at her.⁴ He showed her his lyre and taught her to play it, and he kissed her and held her in an embrace.⁴ Deidamia signaled her sisters to gather while embracing the young man to stop him from leaving, preventing his immediate departure from the banquet.³ Achilles married Deidameia during his stop at Scyros, and she selected twenty of her most trusted household members to serve as attendants for her son.^7,8,9

Deidameia was the mother of Pyrrhus, whom she bore with Achilles, and in one version of the myth, she is the mother of Neoptolemus.^7,10,11 Her son approached her to tell them their lineage and names, but delayed revealing their purpose to avoid adding to her woe.¹² She urged her son to stay home to avoid dying in battle at Ilium, expressing shuddering fear that he would perish in battle and leave her desolate.¹⁰ She feared her son would also go to war, adding to her grief, and remembered how Odysseus and Diomede had persuaded Achilles to leave.¹² Deidameia wept and sighed continuously while gazing across the wide sea to follow her son's ship as he departed.¹³

Deidameia mourned her son with intense grief, weeping, wailing, and lamenting throughout the day.^10,14,13,12 She pined away in measureless sorrow because Achilles was widowed from her, and her heart felt as if it melted due to the intense agony of her soul.^12,13 She was unable to sleep because of her persistent grief, bearing in mind the names of Odysseus and Diomede.¹² She remained in her bower in her father's halls during her period of mourning, leaning against her son's door-post and casting herself upon his bed.^11,3,14,13 She held his childhood toys in her lap, and repeatedly kissed a dart left behind by her son, kissing anything her weeping eyes beheld that belonged to him.¹⁴ The kings greeted her courteously amidst her grief, and she appeared grief-wasted, compared to snow melting under the sun and east wind.¹²

In the end, her son Neoptolemus gave her to Helenus as his wife.¹⁵ Deidamia emerged from her private quarters feeling ashamed, initially not believing her father would pardon her, and asked Achilles to help appease him.¹⁶ She was joined by conscious night as a now fearless lover, and Achilles claimed she could not resist his physical strength.¹⁶